She Hopes For Me

She is perpetually misunderstood, I think, by most people because they only ever see the bad days – or they’re more sensitive to it. Jonathan Haidt talks about how one bad experience is as effective as ten good experiences when it comes to memory and the formation of our personal morality. It seems like it is coded into us to be unforgiving, to be afraid of other people, to seek revenge, and to cling onto suffering.

But I get to see the parts that nobody else sees. I see compassion and love so fierce that all they can express is pain and fear in a world that is so large and unfeeling. I see an intuition for innocence, and a protective instinct that have learned to hate humanity for what we are able to do to anything that can’t defend itself.

An outside perspective might see her struggle to function and get through the day-to-day because of it. They might say that she’s broken, but really it’s the world that’s broken and she is one of the last pure and kind souls left in it. For better or for worse, she refuses to change even if it would be easier to exist here with us if she just gave up.

She still hasn’t accepted that the rest of us ‘function’ so well because we gave up our hope. The day-to-day doesn’t hurt so much if you stop looking out for better days.

So I love her, and keep her safe, and in return she hopes for me.