suffering
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Not For Lack of Trying
What can I say to you monsters? Who could I possibly save? I am submerged and anyone that I pull to me will die. Save yourselves? You can’t. You can’t. Can I feel love when all…
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A Blind Warrior
I am witness to a numb, dull golem who acts without understanding. This companion of my memories is mute to me, his thoughts sit outside of him. He is empty of breath. I press water from…
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Not Before Suffering
I think of my body often, and its miraculous persistence in conducting my existence. I think of of humankind groping for perfection as defined by itself. The farce of justice. The emptiness of empathy to the…
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I Cannot Feel
3/19/2025 When I envision myself, it is with a pane of glass between me and the world. When I conceive of divinity as it exists for myself, it is a voiceless being.Who commands respect through its…
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New Crimson Nativities
3/13/2025 Bring me poets with broken hearts. Bring me songbirds that feel this biting air as I do.Bring me the wines gone sour, the stale bread.I cherish it all the same.I am the king of the…
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Pondering a Surprise of Love
1/28/2025 I have earned my life through virtue of having lived it.I have “earned” delights in the same way that I will have earned the sufferings to come.I am bound unmoving to the tumultuous present moment.I…
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Thoughts on Salvation Theories
From “Thoughts on Salvation Theories” 07/02/2025 The concept of redemption as defined originally, in redeeming the firstborn of a woman through the sacrifice of another animal, lends itself to the title for Jesus Christ as “The…
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Safe and Cold and Alone
Excerpts from journals dated 2/18/25 and 3/2/25 I feel alone and hunted. I feel disheveled and ungrounded. I am no longer home; I am in a den that reeks of panicked sweat where I fail to…
alone, blog, change, existential, existentialism, life, liminal, loneliness, love, meaning, mental-health, nihilism, pain, philosophy, poem, Poetry, suffering, swimming, trauma, writing -
A Light from Dark Shores
I don’t understand what has happened to me in the last few days. I feel like I’ve been tumbled in freezing water and dropped into place. My arms feel week, my chest is aching, I feel…
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A Nebulous Terror
How can I begin to uproot this nebulous terror which has engulfed me so gently that I hadn’t felt it until it had strangled all of the hope and joy from this great period of rebirth?…
