April

I wake up angry these days.

The good times come and go, and the bad times are worse as they come. I can feel myself getting older, and every new bout of depression carries the weight of the length of my life.

There’s no solution for anything. There’s no way out. Generations rising and falling like crashing waves, for nothing, and now here I am. To be remembered is folly, to make a difference is laughable. To be heard over the noise is insurmountable, to be understood is impossible.

It would have been better for me to be anything other than human.

A change in perspective is the panacea for suffering, to want for nothing is the key: I shouldn’t want for connections, I shouldn’t want to be listened to, I shouldn’t want to be heard.

I shouldn’t want food, I shouldn’t want water.

The key to happiness is to not exist at all.