nihilism
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One Routine of a Lost Soul
4/15/2025 I wake, study language, hold my love.I boil water, exercise, steep coffee, work the crossword.I kneel at the altar and pull a spread for the day.I shower, reflect, am caressed, discuss the day.I dress, pack…
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I Cannot Feel
3/19/2025 When I envision myself, it is with a pane of glass between me and the world. When I conceive of divinity as it exists for myself, it is a voiceless being.Who commands respect through its…
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New Crimson Nativities
3/13/2025 Bring me poets with broken hearts. Bring me songbirds that feel this biting air as I do.Bring me the wines gone sour, the stale bread.I cherish it all the same.I am the king of the…
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A Storied Tradition of Hellish Inhumanity
On completing Darwin’s Voyage of the Beagle, a certain emotion hangs with me, which is best illustrated through the path of his narrative, and the fact that I often read it as a reprieve from the…
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Safe and Cold and Alone
Excerpts from journals dated 2/18/25 and 3/2/25 I feel alone and hunted. I feel disheveled and ungrounded. I am no longer home; I am in a den that reeks of panicked sweat where I fail to…
alone, blog, change, existential, existentialism, life, liminal, loneliness, love, meaning, mental-health, nihilism, pain, philosophy, poem, Poetry, suffering, swimming, trauma, writing -
A Nebulous Terror
How can I begin to uproot this nebulous terror which has engulfed me so gently that I hadn’t felt it until it had strangled all of the hope and joy from this great period of rebirth?…
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Behold the Man
There is something lurking which means me no harm, but wants to see me. It is the unknown demand of the future, the stage. It is the audience and cameras which demand a performance- the performance…
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Blind Commitment
When there is no right or wrong answer, there is only convenience and investment. A particularly free spirit could accommodate their own tendency to step off the plane of the world, pursuing a song true to…
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A Trick of the Light
It is easier to forgive myself for giving up hope than for struggling to find the words to wish it farewell. I would sooner be a poet than a living thing. Still, I breathe. I want…
Sanctity and Constraint 