life
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Carrying the Flag
5/22/2025 I am suddenly struck with the overwhelming vision of a lifetime reading the scriptures and the thoughts of mystics from all wisdoms, with my love beside me. What a joyful life it would be to…
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On Dorian Gray
5/19/2025 This time in my life, which has focused on my youth, aging, life goals, morality, the sensations my freedom might achieve, and sexuality, make for a reflective reading of Dorian Gray, and I admit I…
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Little Transient Creatures
A man stood on the shore of a grand, calm sea, where even the edge of the water did not lap but hung with a curled edge over soft sand. Ahead, the blues and greens softly…
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Tasting the Sky
4/28/2025 I drift in a purgatory which changes shapes when I press my fingers into the stones which abound.And when I fold them into more interesting formsthe colours in the sky respond in kind to brighten…
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Pondering a Surprise of Love
1/28/2025 I have earned my life through virtue of having lived it.I have “earned” delights in the same way that I will have earned the sufferings to come.I am bound unmoving to the tumultuous present moment.I…
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Safe and Cold and Alone
Excerpts from journals dated 2/18/25 and 3/2/25 I feel alone and hunted. I feel disheveled and ungrounded. I am no longer home; I am in a den that reeks of panicked sweat where I fail to…
alone, blog, change, existential, existentialism, life, liminal, loneliness, love, meaning, mental-health, nihilism, pain, philosophy, poem, Poetry, suffering, swimming, trauma, writing -
A Nebulous Terror
How can I begin to uproot this nebulous terror which has engulfed me so gently that I hadn’t felt it until it had strangled all of the hope and joy from this great period of rebirth?…
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Behold the Man
There is something lurking which means me no harm, but wants to see me. It is the unknown demand of the future, the stage. It is the audience and cameras which demand a performance- the performance…
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To the Wall, Nonetheless
When we were young together, Harry, Alice and I were entered into a play. I suppose it was something for the school, or at least I don’t recall having volunteered to join. But there we were,…
Sanctity and Constraint 